Please review my IELTS essay?

Topic: Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that students should stay in school until the age of 18. I also agree that going to school will bring many benefits to them in the future but not for most young people.

There are many benefits of studying at school until the age of 18. School is a good environment for people to develop themselves both academically and ethically. First, as students study at the school, they will be able to gain more knowledge and skills to help meet higher levels in the future. This is an extremely important and necessary thing. In addition, everyone will be eligible and have access to the university because candidates with higher qualifications have a competitive advantage in today's degree society. Moreover, everyone needs to develop fully mentally and intellectually. Without morality, people will not know right and wrong, they will easily commit crimes if not properly educated.

On the other hand, I don't think everyone has to go to school until the age of 18. Not everyone is interested in academic knowledge and good at it. If a student does not want to take lessons in high school, the compulsory school age will become a waste of money and time. Therefore, it not only does not help themselves but it also puts great pressure on the family economy. Because not all families can afford to afford the education of their children. Instead, that student should be allowed to join the workforce to make financial contributions to his family and community. In addition, there are jobs that do not require a high school diploma. For example, to become a singer, soccer player or hair designer requires real experience and hard work instead of a high degree, which is also a very good way of life for many to choose from.

In conclusion, students going to school until the age of 18 both benefit and harm. I believe that everyone will make the right choice for themselves according to their situation.