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Tung Le Xuan Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my IELTS essay

Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

In recent decades, the question of whether or not the government should pay for children’s education has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this assistance is not without the disadvantages, the upsides will be far more significant.

There are a number of drawbacks of this sponsorship. First, since a sustainable development of a nation requires to have many investments in many fields, paying all of the costs for children’s education can put more burden on national budgets. In fact, the governments need to fund properly for many key areas, such as healthcare, economy, education, which implies that every citizen should shoulder the responsibility of paying for their children’ schooling fees. Second, by supporting children’s education, either a part or all of the costs, the governments could create unfairness to childless people. This means that they may feel angry or irritated if knowing that their tax income is not spent on their benefits.

Nevertheless, other benefits of educational sponsorship for children’s tuition fees will be far more significant. First, in order to guarantee the qualified workforce down the road, investing in children’s education is considered as a win-win solution. This means that meagre income families can let their children, especially aspiring ones, go to school, which will in turn bring national workforce an array of benefits in the sense that young generations will become qualified and talented employees. Second, if parents released the burden from their children’ fees of schooling, there is a good chance for them to take better care of their offspring. For example, parents can have more budgets to buy more foods or clothes for their children, improving their standard of living as a result.

In conclusion, it is a wise decision when the government are inclined to finance children’ education, even some or all of it, despite some disadvantages anticipated. By acknowledging the importance of children education, officers will lead their country to a higher level of development.

  

Top answer

In recent decades, the question of whether or not the government should pay for children’s education has been receiving a great deal of public attention . (It seem you have this memorized as a "set" answer, even though it has nothing to do with the topic. " This is not a generally true statement, as well as being off-topic..

  • In recent decades, the question of whether or not the government should pay for children’s education has been receiving a great deal of public attention .
  • (It seem you have this memorized as a "set" answer, even though it has nothing to do with the topic.
  • " This is not a generally true statement, as well as being off-topic..
  • ) Although this assistance is not without the disadvantages, the upsides will be far more significant.
  • There are a number of drawbacks to government-paid education.
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1 Answers
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In recent decades, the question of whether or not the government should pay for children’s education has been receiving a great deal of public attention. (It seem you have this memorized as a "set" answer, even though it has nothing to do with the topic. It is best if you paraphrase the topic, and not add irrelevant ideas such as "public attent

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