Please review my IELTS essay

Topic:: It has been said that the world is becoming a global village in which there are no boundaries to trade and communication. Do the benefits of globalization outweigh the drawbacks?

My essay:

In this day and age, the proliferation of global integration affects the productivity of the economy, trade, and other social factors. Becoming a global village gives both pros and cons, but in my opinion, I believe that the advantages have been far greater than the disadvantages.

On the one hand, I strongly believe that globalization has exerted positive impacts on our life. First of all, It may have the biggest effect on the economy. Without cross-country legal barrier, there might be no taxes on imports and exports, which can smooth the path for both businesses and customers to purchase products. Additionally, this condition can serve abundant employment opportunities to the workforce, in turn, can lead to the heightened competitiveness of every worker and far away, it can also give rise to higher labor productivity in particular and the world economy in general.

On the other hand, globalization also brings greater hardship in its train. First, financially rewarding job openings in developed countries would become harsher rat-race among job-seekers than before, which might trigger the inordinate concentration of highly skilled labor force from varying geographic backgrounds. This situation would drive the increasing tide of unemployment among the locals. Moreover, economic development is also regularly tandem with mounting waste production, industrial fume, pollution. Furthermore, when intern-country boundaries were erased, the increased incidence of crime would pose a tough question to the authorities, they would face an increasing number of obstacles to assure the community security. Last but not least, the multinational companies would close down the factories in developed countries and open these factories in undeveloped countries such as Africa countries for low salaries. This also leads to the labor exploitation of people in general and children in particular. Consequently, children will lose the right to learn and develop, also it will have a negative impact on health.

All things considered, I would agree that the benefits of globalization outweigh the negative effect. However, the global authorities should enforce numerous rules to minimize the drawbacks arising. Environmental solutions should be settled and strictly implemented and labor exploitation should be resolved to enhance the productivity of the explosion of globalization.