Please review my IELTS Essay ?

‘Some people think that children should begin their education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion’.

There has been a discussion about whether children should start to learn at the beginning of their lives or at the age of seven. Personally, I am in agreement with the latter view, although the other one shows some obvious advantage.

The opinion to start learning very soon is reasonable in some points. Firstly, children can be more knowledgable and more intelligent than friends at the same age. Early access to academic knowledge such as mathematics or some talent-related subjects like piano, drawings, ….. proves to have better understanding, which made their parents proud of their kids. Another explanation is that children can develop necessary skills needed for learning and use them proficiently and effectively, which help them much in the future learning.

On the other hand, I believe that it will be more beneficial for children to begin their learning at the older age, at least seven. To begin with, children will have better improvements in both mental and physical health. The action of putting pressure on kids at the early age is a massive matter. Children can suffer from many serious diseases because they are not mature enough to stand the pressure. Therefore, beginning at the age of seven or above is much better since this is a suitable age for children to learn and grasp the knowledge. It is proved through many researches carried out by the scientists. Second, the period of five to six years after being born is crucial to develop their personalities and ways of thinking. Approaching to homeworks and exercises at the very soon age can pose many problems affecting the emotions of the kids. Hot- tempered, aggressive attitudes can be developed and negatively affect their personalities. Last but not least, these spare time before learning is essential to strengthen the bond between parents and children. Parents can have better understanding of their kids in many aspects, namely their favourite activities, their hobbies, etc. so that they can share with their children if their kids have any problems in the future.

For these reasons mentioned above, while starting education at a very soon age proved to have undeniable positive aspects, it seems to me that children can have gradual but better and more long- lasting development in their lives.