Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Nowadays,the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make. ? Has this become a positive or negative development?

My essay:

In recent years, people often have different views about the considerable drop in interaction in people's communication due to the appearance of technology. It is undeniable that the technology has both negative and positive influence in our modern life. While it is believed by some that it affects negatively to people's relationship, I am convinced that modern devices have positive effects on the relation of human beings.
On the one hand, it is unquestionable why people see the drawbacks of technology on relationship of people in modern life. The main reason for believing it is that it appears to have a considerable rise in the number of people depending too much on technology.As a result, they spend almost their time watching their modern devices. That's why they will not have time to meet up others and may lose the opportunities to cement their relationship. Moreover, with the convenience and comfort of the technology, some also have time talking to strangers which they think that people can help them overcome their difficulty in mental issues. They will reduce the time speaking to others around them.
On the other hand, I am of the opinion that technology play such a important part in building up and enhancing people's relationship. Thanks to their useful function, people stand good chance of getting in touch with their friends despite any distances. For instance, they can save the information of their friends through Facebook, Instagram, ... and keep in touch with each other even though they live in different countries. Furthermore, people also find it easier when talking through the Internet. They will have opportunities to make up their relationship, which helps them keep the better relation with each others.

In conclusion. despite the demerits of technology on relationship, I would argue that it can benefit people through two main factors.