Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: Improvements in health, education, and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.

It goes without saying that balancing the world economic growth between developing and industrialized countries is one of the most significant woes facing us today. Especially, many poorer areas are completely on the line by virtue of lowly healthcare, an unstructured education system, and weak international trade. From my perspective, I strongly believe that the assistance of wealthy nations for those countries to overcome stumbling blocks should sit high in the must-do-lists.

First of all, it worth considering that the medication in impoverished nations is going backward on account of undeveloped economics, which is a step back to inhibit these countries from innovating. Particularly, Africa is considered as a typical example of weak healthcare facilities, where a whole host of diseased people have no sign of decline during recent years. The widespread AIDS epidemic drives people to the verge of poverty and loss of families. Conversely, should they gain international help from better-off areas, the infection can be ameliorated considerably.

Another point worth noting is the shortcoming of education systems in underprivileged nations. When it comes to learning conditions, it is noticeable that these countries are lacking a large number of well-qualified teachers, as well as modern equipment in each class. Additionally, just a particular group of students can afford to go to school, leading to a huge quantity of the illiterated. Consequently, the wealth-off nations should offer scholarships, loan to the qualified students, and provide more experienced teachers in poorer-related areas.

Equally important, in terms of commerce, it is deniable that indigent nations are lagging behind industrialized ones on ground of shortage of finance. For example, residents in rural areas still depend completely on agricultural fields; therefore, trade cannot be attractive and draw the attention of any other countries. There should be an exchange of goods between developing and affluent areas to reduce the gap of economic. The richer nations can also give consultation on setting up a complete and efficient transportation infrastructure to support trading.

In conclusion, leaders of the richer countries should exert themselves to help poor-prone areas regarding health, education, and trade. Developing and industrialized countries should solidarity and mutually facilitate to mitigate the enormous gap, as well as make sure enhance material and spritual life for miserable residents.