Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicines should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

My essay:

Conventional medicine has been receiving a great deal from media attention in recent decades since its effects on societies. Although some claim that there are no scientific evidences of traditional remedies on treating diseases, this kind of medicine definitely contributes to maintaining our health.

There is a fact that traditional medicine has its own demerits. First, it is totally inappropriate for many conditions. In fact, some serious illnesses, especially accidents, need to be immediately treated, which makes this method ineffective as it needs a certain period to be absorbed into our body. Second, traditional medicine is harmful for our health at some point. For instance, since it is not strictly regulated by neither governments nor authorized organizations, it is susceptible to increase the risk of poisoning due to using unknown natural materials, including various kinds of herbs.

However, the long-established medicine definitely bestows many benefits for our societies. First, this medicine is more effective in compared with modern counterpart on treating some health problems. For example, by using these natural-derived medicine, like herbs and leaves or root of trees, side effects are significantly reduced, which makes it suitable for large type of patients. Second, low-cost is also a great benefit of this method. Actually, since it is produces from materials that can be easily found in nature or be planted in the gardens and spread through generations without spending resources for experiments, which makes it become more popular, especially among low-income people, thanks to its better price.

In conclusion, although many people tend to use traditional medicine instead of modern one, it also has some disadvantages. By using the advancements in science and medicine to integrate these two kinds of treatments, human can take all their advantages in foreseeable future.