Please review my IELTS essay

It is clear that the role of art and music in modern societies is a subject of extremely debatable topics because of their effects on human lives. Although art and music still play an integral part in the fast-pace life style, spending more time on them is not worthy.

At any time, all forms of art are imperative to development’s society. First, art and music are important key to ensure human development. For instance, as our knowledge about our history from the beginning of civilization obtained through many valuable things, like architectures, music and sculptures, which predecessors had left, next generations could be able to understand about their origin in the same way. Second, they bring positive effects on curing health problems. In fact, in order to improve some mental health issues, such as insomnia, listening special type of music is the best method that contributes to alleviating stresses thanks to some hormones released while listening music.

However, spending more time on art and music doesn’t offer net positive benefit. For one reason, this trend might cause wasting resources. Since only gifted person get fully benefits from extra hours learning art and music, there is significant wasting of time of the other people who are not interested in learning deeply in art and music. For another reason, the two subjects are not as important as others. Actually, spending more time learning art and music comes as an expense of diminishing time studying other more critical subjects, like mathematic and chemistry, which might be negatively impact to future career of children since scientific-related jobs are always in high demand in compared with being either a musician or an artist.

In conclusion, although art and music are key factors that ensure the development of human race, spending too much time on these subjects at school leads to detrimental result for communities. By using an appropriate amount of time on learning them, our long-term tradition is still preserved and passed to next generations.