Please review my IELTS essay .

topic: It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musicians. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

essay:

Nowadays, some people are believed to have God-given propensity for arts or sports. However, others suppose that children can be taught to be professional athletes. This essay will discuss both views.

On the one hand, inborn talents are beneficial for the development of human. First, people can boost their skills easily and quickly. For example, people who have certain talents are capable of displaying professional skills at the early age and they have astonishing performances without training too much. They are more intelligent than their peers and their future will be brighter. For instance, Wayne Rooney is a genius of football in England and he quickly became a famous person because of the skilled ability of playing football. Or Mozart is one of the great musicians thanks to the certain talents of music.

On the other hand, practicing is the most important elements to success. First, children need training formally. Innate talents cannot be successful without hardworking. If you want to become professional, you need to have your passion and work hard and strictly. Second, children can be taught to develop good personality. For instance, they can study patience, determination, humble through the training and this not only makes them successful in their career but also teaches them to become a useful person in society.

In conclusion, I argue that inborn talents are important and necessary but if you want to be successful, you should practice harder.