PLEASE REVIEW MY IELTS ESSAY

TOPIC: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

My essay:

It is true that nowadays, parents allow their children study second language when they are in primary school rather than secondary school. While I accept that this case can sometimes have drawbacks, I believe that it is more likely to have a positive effect.

On the one hand, taking up a foreign language at an early age may act as a deterrent to the full development of their mother language. When children have not yet mastered their first language, the foreign one may cause confusedness in their daily conversation as well as difficulties in their studies. To illustrate, it is common among Vietnamese children who study English that they often insert some English words in their speech since they find it hard to convey their idea.

However, I would argue that this detriment is outweighed by the benefits. First, it is obvious that students in primary school show a better performance on learning a new language than students in secondary school do. They have a better memory to learn vocabularies which play an important role in language learning. Moreover, exposing to foreign languages at the early age, the learners can use them more fluently. Because the longer the children study, the more considerably their skills are improved. For example, in terms of speaking skills, Vietnamese students who have learned English since primary school years, usually have better pronunciation as well as speak more fluently and natively than those who started study later.

In conclusion, despite some negative aspects, it seems to me that benefits studying a second language at primary school are more significant for the reasons mentioned.

Thank you for reviewing my essay.