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Caohuynhkhanhlinh Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

PLEASE REVIEW MY IELTS ESSAY

The bar charts give information on the number of the UK graduates and postgraduates did in different types of jobs except for full-time ones in the year of 2008.

Overall, it can be seen that the majority of students in both groups chose to study to higher level, while students who did voluntary works made up the least quantity.

In the first chart, the former students continuing futher study had the greatest number at nearly 30,000 students, while the number of part-time work represented over half as much as that of further study at 17,735 students. Unemployment came next on the list at just over 16,000 students, leaving graduates getting involved in voluntary works at the least number of 3,500 students.

Turn to the second chart, futher study was the most popular work that postgraduates did at 2,725 students, just ahead of part-time work by approximately 200 students. After that, the number of unemployers recorded at about 16,000 students, while volunteers' was roughly 3 times as much as unemployment's figure.


Thank you for reviewing my essay.

  

Top answer

The bar charts give information on (information is very vague . ) the number of the UK graduates and postgraduates did (incorrect structure. in different types of jobs except for full-time jobs ones in the year of 2008.

  • The bar charts give information on (information is very vague .
  • ) the number of the UK graduates and postgraduates did (incorrect structure.
  • in different types of jobs except for full-time jobs ones in the year of 2008.
  • Overall, it can be seen that (Those words tell the reader nothing about the data.
  • ) t he majority of students in both groups chose to continue their studies at a study to higher level, while students who did voluntary works made up the least quantity.
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1 Answers
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The bar charts give information on (information is very vague. Be as specific as you can.) the number of the UK graduates and postgraduates did (incorrect structure. in different types of jobs except for full-time jobs one

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