Please review my IELTS essay!

Topic: As the number of cars increases more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however think that the user should pay for cost. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

My essay:

We are living in the fast-paced society that emerging a wealth of needs in using the means of transportation. It is obvious that an individual could have more a commuter for various purposes such as one motorbike for moving to workplace, one car for long trips or even a bike for regular exercise, unlike the past with only one motorbike for all purposes. We would discuss who will be charged of the growing of the cost of commuting.

While the governments have to pay for this fee, it would have the pros and cons. One advantage is that individuals that have less income to buy any car that could consider it again due to reducing an enormous amount of money after they own it. One disadvantage is that people would drive more as well as more people drive in traffic system because of financial obligation have been eliminated, which in turn impact the environmental protection by releasing an enormous amount of polluted air.

While the users pay for this cost, it might seem that they would look at many situations to decide whether it is necessary to choose a car that shoulder much money in commuting. After all, we could suffer less the risks of illness that caused by polluted air releasing. More over, it is too far to own a private car with the low, medium income people. In my view, I agree completely that individuals must be charged for this cost so that they would have a responsibility with environment as well as strengthen the physical fitness while in a specific situation, they have the best ideal choice is not using a car but biking or walking.

To conclude, each method also bring in pros and cons in different aspects. It is true that we would depend on the various government policies to have a better solution for this problem. In my opinion, I pay more attention to the environment and health care thereby in favor of paying for this cost by people.