Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses for communities in poorer countries. Why young people choose to do so? Who will benefit more: young people or the communities?

My essay:

In recent years, there is an increase in the number of people in affluent countries who are interested in voluntary projects. This essay will outline some reasons for this trend, and several benefits which both volunteers and the communities can gain from this.

There are two main reasons, which can lead to the spread of doing unpaid work among young people. First, have short trips to developing countries provides young people with a great deal of rewarding experiences, leading to additional knowledge about different cultures. As a result, they have chances to enhance their life skills, as well as foster a sense of humanity and altruism. For example, when young people go to visit some underprivileged provinces in Vietnam, such as Quang Tri, they will have a good grasp of the misery and hardship of the local people. This, therefore, motivate them to do more voluntary work. Second, with respect to future career, people who get involved in many social activities are usually highly recommended by employers. Thus, they are inspired to benefit the community more through activities such as teaching or providing accommodation for poverty-stricken people.

The benefits which this phenomenon brings about are significant for both volunteers and the community. Young people who obtain new experiences and develop soft skills via extra-curriculum activities are more likely to succeed in career path. Besides, they gain more respect from other people after dedicating their time and effort to helping the impoverished. On the other hand, this practice provides the local community with opportunities to enhance living standards, although the impact can be considered relatively small sometimes.

In conclusion, young people from developed countries go to underprivileged ones to do voluntary work in order to gain more experiences and boost their future employment. As a result, both volunteers and the visited areas receive notable values.

Thank you very much!