Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: Some people think that good health is a basis human need, so the madical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private health care outweigh the advantages.

My essay:

It is believed that health plays an integral role in people’s life. In recent years, privately operated services have emerged as an alternative to public health care and gained in popularity for some reasons. Personally, in spite of some drawbacks, the benefits of private health care system seem to be more significant.

On the one hand, private medical treatment brings about several disadvantages. First, patients have to pay more for services in privately owned hospitals than in public health agencies. When governments do not introduce restrictions on treatment costs in the hospitals and clinics run by profit-making companies, as well as they are equiped with a lot of cutting-edge technology, many private institutions are possible to increase fees for services such as prescription charges or using machine in operating theatre. This has prevented the underprivileged from being treated in private healthcare system. The second drawback is that with the aim of earning profit, private hospitals might pay more attention to the quantity rather than the quality. For example, they can employ less qualified and less experienced medical practitioners, which results in the unpleasantness of patients.

On the other hand, privately operated healthcare institutions also have their own advantages. First, private hospitals provide patients with faster services. Unlike public health services, where people have to wait for a long time to be diagnosed and treated, patients are served professionally and speedily when going to private hospitals, for example, to go for regular check-ups. Second, private healthcare institutions can be an alternative for public hospital in remote areas as a way to relief the authorities’ burden. Therefore, governments will be able to allocate resources to other more important things, such as stabilising the economy and politics. In addition, people in ethnic minorities who barely receive primary health care will gain access to contemporary medical treatments easily.

In conclusion, I completely agree with those who argue that private healthcare system carries more considerable advantages than drawbacks. Thus, people should take out private health insurance to reach better health care.