Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that government should make it free for all students noo matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

My essay:

It is believed that enrolling in universities is everyone’s right, and thus the tuition fee should be fully paid by governments. I completely agree with the former view, but the second one is quite unreasonable.

From my point of view, every student has the same opportunity to pursue tertiary education. It is because we are all equal in intelligence and scholastic capability. Therefore, the transmission of knowledge in universities should be provided for all people, no matter where they come from or what finacial background they have.

However, governments are not responsible for providing free tertiary education for all students. First, it is clear that governments have to allocate expenditure to many important areas, such as environment and healthcare system. Therefore, if governments sponsor higher education by fully paying the tuition fee, they might be pushed to the verge of bankruptcy as the costs for maintaining adequate facilities and employing qualified teachers are considerable. A stopgap measure which can be considered is raising taxes on citizens. However, people will definitely exert pressure on governments if this policy is adopted. Second, attending school without paying tuition fee might lose students’ appetite for acquiring tertiary degrees. Since they think that they do not have to work their way through universities and pay off any student loans, youngsters can be easy to fall behind with their studies or even drop out of universities.

In conclusion, while I argue that people have equal rights to go on higher education, governments are not obliged to fully pay for study costs. Instead, other government sponsorships such as scholarships or raising funds for poor students might play a better role in helping students to make the grade.