Please review my IELTS essay

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, having more people study and research at universities than people enroll in vocational training courses.

So, it is clear that many people should participate in vocational classes because workers, as electricians and plumbers, are lacking of qualification. Personally, I strongly agree with this view.

There are plethora of reasons why people should be trained skills of professions such as electrical and plumping works. The primary reason, the unemployment rate of college students is higher than the figure of students who have vocational certificates. According to the reports of Ministry of Labor in Vietnam, there were 200.000 students graduated economic schools in 2016, nevertheless, society had serious shortage of workers who have good skills as construction workers, electricians, locksmiths... Therefore, when students graduated vocational schools, they easily have good job opportunities. In other words, people should be encouraged to vocational training which helps to balance between white-collar jobs and blue-collar jobs.

Another significant reason, if the society lacks of qualified workers, the economy will be seriously affected. For instance, whether electrical systems of a nation will not runs perfectly if it has not enough skillful workers who maintain wire systems. This is a job which affects to amount of electricity and electrical quality. The final reason, vocational training not only helps to reduce learning time as theoretical subjects and extraneous subjects but also it helps to cut off social costs including medical supports, housing supports for students.

In conclusion, I believe that people should be promoted to do vocational training because without qualified workers, the society cannot function effectively.