Please review my IELTS essay

The Topic:

Competitiveness is considered to be a positive quality among people.

How does competitiveness affect individuals?

Is competitiveness a positive or negative qualities?

My essay

As we live in the world of competition, being competitive account a great feature in peoples' mind. I believe, while, it has different effects on people with this quality, some of them could make problem.

Competitiveness could influence different aspect of peoples' lives who are competitor. They have some specific innate quality which help them to look everything different of others who do not have such an attribute. For example, difficulties in everyday life or problem at the work. As they always want to be best one everywhere so try to cope with all issue which place in front of them. Due to this feature, they usually need to be confirmed by other people. Moreover, repetitive and unexciting jobs usually make them bored why they always feel like involving in any kind of competition.

As it is mentioned above, being competitive has its own positive and negative effect. These people tend to be perfectionist in any situation. Although, it could be considered as a strong incentive to improve themselves, small success may not make them satisfied so they usually do not have internal satisfaction especially if do not achieve to what they want. It may cause to lose their confidence. Furthermore, boring jobs could be harmful for them because it leads them to depression. While, some of competitor deal with these conditions by adding some creative activity to change their positions.

In conclusion, the competitive quality usually inclines people to achieve great levels in various situations like sports, business, arts to name a few. It must be considered that it could make individuals vulnerable to some problems.