Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given for the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?
My essay:

The debate over wild animals and birds has become the issue of intense public and personal interest. While I concede that they deserve much human's attention and resources, I believe environmental pollution should be promoted as the main priority of consideration.

There are two reasons why people should pay much attention and give a great deal of money to protect wild animals and birds. First, some animal species are endangered or even on the verge of extinction. For example, unlike most bears whose diets are comprised of plant material and other animals, pandas exclusively eat bamboos. While the number of bamboos forests suddenly disappear, they have difficulty adapting without the sufficient source of food and no longer vanish. Second, human beings should shoulder responsibility for habitat loss, which leads to the wildlife endangerment. If people did not take action to conserve the natural environment, many far more wild animals and birds would be nowhere to be seen.

On the other hand, I am convinced that the environmental pollution should be recognized as the most urgent problem at the present time. One obvious reason is that if people contaminate the environment, they will risk their lives. It is due to the fact that humans are dependent on it for the source of elements of life, namely, water, air and food. For instance, factory emissions contributed greatly to pneumonia in China. In my view, it is important to utilize societal resources to establish environmental protection organization.

In conclusion, although I recognize the necessity of expenditure for the conservation of wild animals and birds, I firmly believe that priority should be given to the polluted environment.