Please Review My IELTS Essay

Topic: In the future, it seems it will be more difficult to live on the Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

My answer:

It is true that humans are facing the international ecological crisis. While some people hold the opinion that governments should pour money into space research to find a new homeland, I believe that we should take much efforts to reclaim our contemporary habitat on Earth.

On the one hand, government's financial resources should be allocated to universe studies in order to discover other habitable environments for humans due to the increasingly harsh living conditions on the Earth and it leads to various serious consequences. For example, the world is coping with the threat from the lack of land and accommodation for the ever-increasing rate of birth. Especially in densely populated cities like Hanoi, it is a common picture of people struggling to find an apartment. Therefore, changing alternative living places is necessary.

On the other hand, a livable planet with sufficient living conditions is not always available and looking for such place might last hundreds of years. Therefore, people should pay attention to protecting the Earth to maintain the survival of human race. It means that humans and authorities of all nations ought to take action international environmental problems such as tackling the over-exploitation of fossil fuel or other natural resources for short-term benefits, alleviating the lack of water and desertification in Africa or Asia to achieve a sustainable ling standard for humankind until experts find a new possible place.

In conclusion, I would argue that people should take priority over the Earth's environment instead of only focusing on finding a new promised land.

(257 words)