Please review my IELTS essay.

Topic: Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view ?

My essay :

The history of human civilisation is entwined with the history of the ways we have learned to educate children. While supporters say it is vital to provide a parenting course, opponents including me firmly believe that it can be unproductive.

In my opinion, the idea that all furure parents should take a parenthood preparation course is completely impractical. Stepping the 21st century, jobs and busy have put an strain on parents, they may not be willing to attend regular parenting classes, which wastes their valuable time. This raises the question of whether those who missed the classes or perhaps refused to attend would be punished. I consider that would be wrong to do this, therefore it is impossible to enforce the idea of compulsory training for parents. Although there would be many efforts to incentivize parents to take part in, I doubt that who will bound to have hands-on experience to train parenting classes. In addition, it would be difficult to create a parenting course to suit everyone.

Another reason is that I disagree with proposal because it is necessary. First, parents normally have been raising children without help for thousands of years. In lieu of taking a parenting course, they typically learn from family members, their own upbringing, friends who is suprior to caring for children.Secondly, they can learn from parenting skills by instinct, trial and error and this help them get to know their children deeply. To take a simple example, if children's bad behaviour is hard to correct in one way, they might adopt differnt strategies that based on their children's personalities and circumstances.

In conclusion, I consider the top priority of parents is educate children, however efforts can be made without permalink with the parenthood courses.