Please review my final motivation letter for Master study

After reading many writing motivation letter tips, I've succeed in writing my motivation letter for my master study . Now, if anybody could help me, I just need to make sure this letter of mine is in good direction and convincing enough for anyone who will read it. Thanks for anyone who already created such helpful threads. Cheers.

Eindhoven University of Technology
December 10, 2014

Dear Sir or Madam:
I am applying to your Master program of “Business Information Systems” starting in September 2015. My career ambition is to become an information system expert and also an entrepreneur. I also want to be one of the pioneers in the use of information systems to improve public services in Indonesia including the e-government.

I have completed my undergraduate study in Information System at Universitas Indonesia (UI) in 2013. My GPA is 3.95 (4 scale). After graduation, I was still assisting Manajer of Research Division Dr. Eng. Joko Widodo as a research assistant for six months and then started a career in an IT services company for banking industry PT. Wincor Nixdorf Indonesia as a software consultant until now.

During my study, I got interested in exploring more in enterprise systems and information systems field. This enthusiasm was started in 2011 when I joined RISTEK Fasilkom UI as a member of the information system SIG. RISTEK (Riset Teknologi) Fasilkom UI is an organization gathering students who are interested in technology research. Information System is one of Special Interest Group in RISTEK focusing on creating clients solution using Web-based approach. I also frequently attended seminars and guest lectures with a variety of topics such as Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP), Supply Chain Management (SCM), Customer Relationship Management (CRM), and others. In 2013, I was involved in a research project as a research assistant to develop some information systems. I also did an internship at a public policy studies organization for three months where I developed a Knowledge Management System (KMS).

I am fortunate to have an exciting opportunity in performing research as a research assistant at Faculty of Computer Science UI in 2013. Working as a research assistant gave me more exposure to the world of research as I have managed to write a scientific paper while working as a software consultant at PT. Wincor Nixdorf Indonesia gives me more exposure to the implementation of knowledge of IT in the real life. During my period of working, I have been involved in several projects and had chances to interact with various people with a variety of positions.

Now I want to focus on a Master program which offers a broad range of subjects and electives such as business administration. I want to study at Eindhoven University of Technology because of your outstanding educational system, focus on gathering relevant work experience, and your excellent facilities and research centers. Most importantly, this program provides me with insight into technical business management combining with computer science so that I can improve my managerial and analytical skills.

I am sure to exceed your expectations, because of both my academic and interpersonal skills as well as the experiences gained from my research and my job. Furthermore, my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program. I am confident that I will meet my career and personal goals while studying at Eindhoven University of Technology.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely yours,