Please Review My Essay - writing task 2
TOPIC: Education for young people is important in many countries . However, the others think government should spend more money for education in adult population who can not read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s modernized world, education is one of the top priorities concerned by the government as its development fundamentally leads to the advancement of society. Regarding this perspective, some individuals are of opinion that although the investment in education for young generation is given importance, it is necessary for adult population to get involved in illiteracy eradication programs. To my way of thinking, I totally agree with this point of view.
To begin with, on the social level, the funding of government in adult people is the proper solution to the social-related improvement. It is noteworthy that the elimination of illiterate adults has beneficial influence on many aspects of society, for instance, if the farmers in most rural areas can be equipped with full of theoretical knowledge by books combining with their hands-on experience, the agriculture will be enhanced in the most productive way. In addition, this investment is also of benefit to the industrialization as adults are considered the major sources of labor. As a result, this illiteracy prevention brings government a huge profit of economy in terms of the industrial and agricultural growth.
On the flip side, the holistic development of intellectual standard takes an advantage over the poor education. Admittedly, it heightens the awareness of environment of inhabitants. For example, the area which has better education performing more hygienic environment in their lifestyles. In addition, the average income of fully literate adults is much higher and there are more opportunities to get occupations.
In conclusion, the illiteracy eradication in adult population is extremely imperative as it provides people with properly-functioning society as well as high living standard condition.
Top answer
Thomas, you are trying to use vocabulary and sentences that are too advanced for your level. Most of your writing is poor English; in fact, it is difficult to figure out what you are trying to say. I advise you, as a beginner, to write simple sentences using words and expressions that you are confident in.
- Thomas, you are trying to use vocabulary and sentences that are too advanced for your level.
- Most of your writing is poor English; in fact, it is difficult to figure out what you are trying to say.
- I advise you, as a beginner, to write simple sentences using words and expressions that you are confident in.
- As you develop your vocabulary and writing skills, you can begin to write at a higher level.
- TOPIC: Education for young people is important in many countrie s .
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
Thomas, you are trying to use vocabulary and sentences that are too advanced for your level. Most of your writing is poor English; in fact, it is difficult to figure out what you are trying to say. I advise you, as a beginner, to write simple sentences using words and expressions that you are confident in. As you develop your vocabulary and writing skills, you can begin to write at a higher l
0
Related Questions