PLEASE REVIEW MY ESSAY, THANKS YOU SO MUCH

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TOPIC : Why are cities more popular with young people? City life is more stressful than life in small towns and villages – discuss.There are many reason for popularity of cities with young people. Firstly, i think that young people have some kind of similar individualities. They are young,healthy, curious, dynamic and enjoy the experience, ect. All of above things affect to their opinion,  a place to challenge themselves is a best choice. As we know, cities have advanced conditions consist of service, road, accommodation,ect so majority of famous brand’s office is placed in city, it is a oppotunty for young people from anywhere to create basic career and this is one of the most important reason why cities draw in a huge of young people.The more oppotunities, the more challenges. As a result of having many challenges, life in city is more stressful than countryside and it’s inevitable. Many people gather in one place to find a job or a chance, accidentally created a competitive environment. Higher demands require each person paying more efforts, that’s the moment we meet pressure face to face. With amenities in city, we have to pay more and more for living and now we meet additional pressure. Pressure, competition, challenges in city  make people stressful easier than countrysde where lifestyle occur less hurry. There are always two sides of a point, but in this case we can claim that life in city make people stressful easier than countryside

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

PLEASE REVIEW MY ESSAY, (comma splice error) THANKS (wrong form) YOU SO MUCH

Yesterday I asked you to study two resources about the comma splice error, so you would never make the mistake again. Oh dear, you made this mistake again in the title of your post and several times in your essay. So read these pages again and study them carefully. I have copied this from yesterday:

Comma splice error:

Read these pages and learn the lessons. You will never make this error again:

http://www.grammarerrors.com/punctuation/commas-with-conjunctive-adverbs-however-furthermore-etc/
http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/commasplice.htm

Thanks you: This is wrong. Write "thank you" or "thanks", NEVER write "thanks you."

The word "i" is the 9th letter of the English alphabet. Do letters think?
NEVER write "i" or "u" in formal essays unless you are talking about letters of the alphabet.

NEVER use "etc." in a formal essay.
NEVER use "..." in a formal essay.
NEVER use "and so on" in a formal essay.

I have highlighted a few of your mistakes. Keep learning. Keep practicing. Do not make comma splice errors.

There are many reason (When you write "reason" you mean ONE reason. One is not many.)

for the popularity of cities with young people. First, ~~Firstly~~, i (very very bad) think that young people have some kind of similar individualities. They are young,healthy, curious, dynamic and enjoy the experience~~, ect~~. All of above things affect to their opinion, (comma splice error) a place to challenge themselves is a best choice. As we know, cities have advanced conditions consist of service, road, accommodation~~,ect~~ so majority of famous brand’s office is placed in the city, (comma splice error) it is a oppotunty for young people from anywhere to create basic career and this is one of the most important reason why cities draw in a huge of young people.

The more oppotunities, the more challenges. As a result of having many challenges, life in the city is more stressful than in the countryside and it’s inevitable. Many people gather in one place to find a job or a chance, accidentally created a competitive environment. Higher demands require each person paying more efforts, (comma splice error) that’s the moment we meet pressure face to face. With amenities in the city, we have to pay more and more for living and now we meet additional pressure. Pressure, competition, challenges in the city make people stressful easier than in the countrysde where lifestyle occur less hurry. There are always two sides of a point, but in this case we can claim that life in the city make people stressful easier than in the countryside

PLEASE REVIEW MY ESSAY, THANKS YOU SO MUCH

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