Please review my essay. Thank you so much.

Children can learn effectively by simply watching television,
therefore they should be allowed to do so regularly at home
and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that teenagers should be permitted to
frequently study by watching television. However, I disagree with
this view.
It is true that television has brought a great deal of beneficial
information in plenty of areas. Not only do programmes broadcasted
undergo a thorough censorship process but they are also varied in
many fields. For example, having access to English related channels
or foreign films may help children improve their listening and
speaking skill. They are also able to gain a wealth of science
knowledge through experiments on small screens. Only by
television can students acquire a good many of essential knowledge.
Apart from the practical advantage expressed above, I think that
adults should not entitle youngsters to be highly engage in watching
television. First, the fact that teenagers watch television regularly
can limit real reaction as well as soft skills. In fact, the young spend
much time studying through screens, which impedes them from
exchanging their opinions and interacting with teachers. Skills such
as team-working or representation would be restricted. Second, by
dint of binge watch’ s detrimental impacts, the young should be
discourage from frequent watching. Children who have excessive
exposure to screens are more likely to suffer from health
deterioration like eye weakness or obesity.
In conclusion, although learning through television has its own
benefits, children should not be let do so continuously whether at
home or at school.