Please review my essay. Thank you so much.

Question

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

My essay:

The maps show how an island has developed with many facilities for tourists.

Overall, before the construction of new facilities, there were only two palm woodlands on the east and west side and the middle of island was completely empty and bare.

After the construction, there were variety entertainment and accommodation services. According to the map, in the southern part of the island, a pier and some sailboats are seen. From here, tourists can go to the reception at the middle by vehicle track. On the right side of the reception, some hunts have been built that are connected to each other by footpath. In addition, at the end right, the palm woodland has remained unchanged and no equipment.

On the left side of the reception, there is also a smaller accommodation of hunts that are surrounded the palm trees. From here to the beach, visitors can go left by means of footpath. The beach has devoted to swimming and has little area to the whole island. What is more, to the north, a large restaurant has constructed.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The maps show how an island has developed with many facilities for tourists.

Overall, before the construction of new facilities, there were only two palm woodlands on the east and west side and the middle of island was completely empty and bare.

After the construction, there were variety entertainment and accommodation services. ~~According to the map~~, in On the southern part of the island, a pier and some sailboats are seen. From here, tourists can go to the reception at the middle by vehicle track. On the right side of the reception, some hunts (wrong word) have been built that are connected to each other by footpaths. In addition, at the end right, the palm woodland has remained unchanged and no equipment. (wrong word)

On the left side of the reception, there is also a smaller accommodation of hunts (wrong word) that are surrounded by the palm trees. From here to the beach, visitors can go left by means of a footpath. The beach has (wrong word) devoted to swimming and has little area to the whole island. (??) What is more, to the north, a large restaurant has constructed. (wrong form)

You just need to describe the maps, without commenting on what people can do here. Compare with a model essay.

Model Essay:

The first map shows an uninhabited small low-lying island about 230 meters long (east-west) by 50 to 80 meters wide (north-south). The second map shows the island after its development.

The undeveloped island has a small beach on the western end, and a site suitable for a pier on the south side. There are a few palm trees growing, but otherwise, the island is empty.

After its development, many visitor facilities can be seen on the island. There is a pier for small boats to dock and discharge passengers and supplies. The reception building is about twenty meters from the pier, and behind it, perhaps ten meters, a restaurant. To the east and west of the reception, there are accommodations, in the form of huts. The west section has nine huts, and the east has five. There are footpaths leading between all the huts, the beach, the restaurant and reception, and a circular vehicular track around the reception building leading to the pier. The swimming beach is closer to the west section. The eastern end of the island has not been developed.

Please review my essay. Thank you so much.

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