Please review my essay. Thank you!

Topic: For some people, making a lot of money is an important goal. Others think that their free time is more important than wealth. Which is more important to you? Explain, giving specific reasons for your choice.

Nowadays, making money is important for our lives. But some people think it is more important than their free time and I completely disagree with this point of view.

There are several reasons why free time is more crucial than wealth. First, we can use our free time to take care of our lives. Life has a lot of aspects such as health, family, love, etc. For example, we will not make a lot of money unless we have a good health. We have to spend our time to improve our health. Taking exercise every day or eating healthy food is not a bad idea. Second, people feel happy when their needs are satisfied. Your needs can be eating, drinking, entertainment, etc. They are fundamental needs of human. If you are rich, you will be able to eat in a luxury restaurant several times a week. In contrast, you definitely have to eat dinner at home if you do not have a lot of money. But at the end of the day, all you want is a meal so you will be not hungry after 7 pm. Finally, what we want is different from each other, we should create the balance between our income and our needs. Having enough money to buy things we like, pay our bills every month and take care of our parents, that make we feel happier than anyone else.

In general, wealth is great, but it is not all we want. We should use our free time in a reasonable way.