Please review my essay (Ielts Writing Tasks 2)

Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have a huge negative effect on society and individuals. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been argued that social media sites including Facebook, Instagram, etc causes unfavorable influences on individuals and the community. However, I am convinced that these social networking sites play important roles in transforming human lives in a positive way by allowing online communication and improving education.

To begin with, the advent of social media sites increases the ease of communication, owing to its ability to connect people around the world regardless of geographical barriers. Only by using online platforms can people stay in touch and interact with their family and friends at every corner of the world through video calls and messages without paying for travelling costs. This offers human beings instant and constant connection under any circumstances, clearly illustrated by the Covid-19 pandemic, when people are unable to conduct face-to-face meetings.

Regarding the society, online networking sites assist in diversifying learning opportunities, contributing to the betterment of education. Instead of attending a traditional classroom, which not only requires expensive tuition but also cost a huge amount of money for transportation, people currently can join an online classroom or receive distance training via online platforms. These new educational systems are much more affordable and convenient for people from all walks of life. For example, while in the past children in remote areas can not afford conventional education, now they can opt for online courses as an alternative option.

In conclusion, I personally believe that the implementation of social networking sites greatly benefits both individual people and the society in terms of communication and education.

P/S: Thank you very much for spending time correcting my writing!