Please Review My Essay IELTS Writing Task 2 Architecture Topic - Thanks a lot

Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People have different opinions as to whether the architectural design of newly built houses should follow the same style of existing homes or follow their style preferences. Personally, I believe that they should have permission to construct unique houses.

The option to construct all alike buildings in a vicinity is beneficial for many reasons. In many countries, traditional wisdom dictates that a house is a reflection of the wealth or social status of its owner. As a result, the owners of less attractive and less modern houses would feel inferior and less engaged in conversational exchanges with their neighbors. This unfortunate problem is likely to cause social isolation and an overall decrease in life satisfaction in the long term. By contrast, constructing similar houses helps to develop a sense of community and unity within a residential area. On a government level, since all buildings share a common design, the task of supervising the process of construction becomes more manageable, ensuring these buildings satisfy construction safety requirements.

However, I support the view that the aesthetic design of unique buildings has far more positive impacts on the psychology of humans and a town as a whole. Living in a modern and dynamic environment which is usually associated with security and comfort is thought to boost our emotional well-being. Research has shown poorly-designed buildings are inextricably linked to the risk of health deterioration and academic underachievement. On a larger scale, the vivid image of a town with a unique style attracts foreign tourists to come to visit the town, which is conducive to the development of tourism and culture.

In conclusion, I concur with the idea that constructing unique houses has more benefits, whereas maintaining an identical design for constructing all buildings in a particular area is worth further consideration.

I'm aiming for a band 9 in IELTS Writing since I'd love to become a book author in years to come. Could anyone pinpoint areas that I need to work on? I'm so grateful for that.