Please review my essay ( IELTS Writing task 2)

Topic: Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every year, artists receive a large amount of financial support from governments. While some people argue that funding arts is necessary because they could help children learn better, I believe this is a waste of money since arts are just for a small group of citizens.

On the one hand, grants from governments could make more arts available for children, and these arts, in turn, could benefit children’s learning process. These benefits include cultivating children’s young imaginations and enhancing their academic achievement in multiple subject areas. For example, a study from MIT has shown that students who receive arts education exhibit improvements on standardized test scores and their performance in other subjects, such as math and reading. However, I believe governments should spend money on providing all children with basic education first since, in many countries, a large number of children still live in poverty and cannot afford to go to school, so the idea of using arts to stimulate their minds and enhance their academic performance in those countries seems far from realistic.

One the other hand, spending taxes on arts is seen as unnecessary. This is because arts are only for specific groups, upper and middle classes, not for all citizens. In fact, people in poverty cannot afford time to appreciate paintings and pictures. However, these people also have to pay taxes. In this respect, if the governmental budget is invested in the sector, all the public cannot benefit from this. Thus, I believe that money should be spent on more valuable fields, such as public health and poverty problems so that everyone can equally take advantage of government funding.

In conclusion, although giving financial aid to arts could benefit children’s performance in school, government spending should be used to address more pressing problems first.