Please review my essay ( IELTS Writing task 2)
Topic: Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. Do you agree or disagree?
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It is argued that rich nations such as the US and the UK should let more refugees in and support them with basic needs including food and shelter. This essay agrees with this statement because this benefits both the refugees themselves and the country of destination.
Wealthy nations should accept more refugees because this can protect the most fundamental right of all: the right to live. Turning our backs to the refugees could be fatal for them in most cases since they have no food to eat, nowhere to stay, and no legal rights on the new land. Instead, if the government accepted and helped them with basic assistance such as two meals a day and a place to sleep at night, they could be able to survive and start to build a new life in the country that they have risked their lives to reach. For example, in the 2015 migrant crisis in Europe, at least 50,000 lives were saved by the Greek government after it decided to open its border for asylum seekers from Africa and the Middle East.
Another reason why more refugees should be accepted by rich countries is that this could create more jobs for the host country. It is known that migrants engage in entrepreneurship at much higher rates than natives since the act of migrating is associated with risk-taking behavior. Thus, migrants are more likely to take risks in business, such as starting a new company. By creating new businesses, they also create new jobs for everyone including natives. For example, in the US, although migrants are only 15% of the population, they represent 25% of entrepreneurs and create 1.5 million new jobs every year.
In conclusion, rich nations should let more refugees in because this not only protects the right to live of the refugees but also helps the host country expand its job market.
Top answer
You need to read the question carefully. The question was not about why countries should take refugees as such. It was about why wealthy nations should take more refugees.
- You need to read the question carefully.
- The question was not about why countries should take refugees as such.
- It was about why wealthy nations should take more refugees.
- In your first body paragraph, you should mention that wealthy nations can afford to take in more refugees.
- Therefore, I suggest you amend that paragraph.
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You need to read the question carefully. The question was not about why countries should take refugees as such. It was about why wealthy nations should take more refugees. In your first body paragraph, you should mention that wealthy nations can afford to take in more refugees. Therefore, I suggest you amend that paragraph. Post the revised version below.
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