Please review my essay for Writing Task 2

Topic:

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My essay:

When embarking on a new education pathway, an individual has various choices open up, one of which is to move to another area to pursue higher education. This option carries both positive and negative sides, and I do not reckon one may outweigh the other.

First, moving away from family to serve educational purpose truly benefits one’s survival and social skills. Indeed, to exert all efforts to rent an affordable house and shoulder costs of living give the student the courage to think and act independently, which becomes valuable later on when they are in the workplace environment. Moreover, living by their own side spares much more privacy for that individual, that is, they are not disturbed by the annoying sounds from regular activities of the family members - an element affecting negatively the course of studying. To illustrate, when dealing with the college’s assignment at home, if the student is continuously bothered by their little brother, they can hardly complete their work on time.

Nevertheless, an obstacle challenging any student coming from another area indisputably concerns with money. Admittedly, their lives are not guaranteed by parents’ support, more specifically, the concern of the inability to pay for a place to reside may linger throughout their college life. For instance, during the COVID-19 pandemic, these students cannot be assured that they are at least safe and sound in parents’ house. Also, not only does an individual have to cover their living payment, but they are also required to pay for annual fees from the university on their own in case their family is encountering financial difficulties. This may urge them to seek for a part-time job, which possibly restrains their time for the main duty – studying.

In conclusion, considering the option to not stay under the same roof with family when attending college, I think both its advantages and disadvantages are critical. On the one hand, a student can gain such crucial skills as satisfying their basic living demands on their own, while on the other hand, life without family’s support puts a heavy strain on the individual’s financial ability.