Please review my essay for IELTS task 1.

Question

Topic: The table below shows the number of hours per week people of different ages spend using the Internet for different types of activities.    The table displays how many hours per week people of various ages (teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and older 60s) spend working/ studying and leisure activities on the Internet.    Overall, the total time spent on working or studying is higher than that on leisure activities. Most ages spend more time working or studying except the teens and people in their 60s.    In terms of working or studying, people in their 20s spend the most time on this, about 50 hours per week. The hours are also high for people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s (45, 40, and 40, respectively). The people in their 60s or older merely spend 17 hours on this term. However, the hours that the teens spend are the least hours spend in all ages, 15 hours per week.    On the other hand, the time spent on leisure activities is lower than that of working or studying, which account for not higher than 20 hours a week. Teens spend the most time on this (20 hours), which is around double that of people in their 40s and 50s (10 - 11 hours). People of other ages spend 17-18 hours on this term.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The table ~~displays~~ lists how many hours per week people of ~~various ages~~ six age brackets (teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and older 60s) spend working/ studying and doing leisure activities on the Internet.

Overall, the ~~total~~ time s

Overall, the ~~total~~ time spent on working or studying is higher than that on leisure activities. ~~Most ages~~ Working-age adults spend more time online ~~working or studying~~ ~~except~~ than the teens and people in their 60s.

In terms of working or studying, people in their 20s spend the most time on this, about 50 hours per week. The hours are also high for people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s (45, 40, and 40, respectively). The people in their 60s or older merely spend 17 hours ~~on this term.~~ However, the hours that the teens spend are the least hours spend in all ages, 15 hours per week.

On the other hand, the time spent on leisure activities is lower than that of working or studying, which account for not higher than 20 hours a week. Teens spend the most time on this (20 hours), which is around double that of people in their 40s and 50s (10 - 11 hours). People of other ages spend 17-18 hours on this term.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay.

In task 1, you will get a much higher score by combining categories in a logical way. In this essay, I combined the oldest and youngest groups, and then also added the categories together to give the total hours online.

The table lists the hours per week that people of different ages spend online. There are two categories of activities, working (including study), and leisure and there are six age brackets ranging from teens to over 60 (seniors), with working-age adults in between.

Overall, the teens and seniors have a different pattern of using the internet than working-age adults. They spend more time doing fun activities and also are online for fewer hours.

In detail, working-age adults spend between 40 and 50 hours a week doing work or study online, in contrast with the youngest and oldest people who spend between 15 and 17 hours. There is no distinctive pattern for leisure activities; the highest number, 20 hours, is for the teenagers, and the lowest (10-11 hours) is for older adults in their 40s and 50s. In total, teens and seniors are online for about 35 hours. That is quite a bit lower that for young adults in their 20s, who are online nearly twice as long, 68 hours per week. This value drops with each older age group, 62, 50 and 51 hours, for people in their 30s, 40s and 50s, respectively.

Please review my essay for IELTS task 1.

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions