Please Review My Essay And Give Me The Score. I Will Have An IELTS Exam In 7 Days.
The line graph illustrates the amounts of trips to various countries by UK people for different purposes and the table shows the total amounts of trips, measured in millions, from 1989 to 2001.
It is clear from the graph that the number of trips for holiday purpose accounted for by far highest compared to the others. Additionally, as can be seen from the table that the sum of trip amounts increased gradually through the period shown.
In 1989, roughly 30 million United Kingdom people travelled to other nations aiming to have a holiday while the figure for the others was all under 9 million. The next 6-year period witnessed the significant incline in the number of trips with holiday purpose to about 43 million; likewise, the amounts of family visit trips increased slightly to around 8 million. Noticeably, the trip quantity with business and other purposes reached a peak at 10 million and 9 million, in turn, and the total of trip number raised to 68 million in 1995.
In the rest period, the quantity in “holidays” category peaked at 50 million trips then decrease to under 40 million in 2001; otherwise, the number in business and other purposes declined gradually to 9 million and 3 million, respectively. Meanwhile, the whole increase to the top at 73.5 million trips and decreased to 61 million in 2001.
Top answer
I can't give you a score, but I can point out a few things: Trips are quantified by number, not amount. Refer to the changes below. UK people -> UK citizens or UK residents the figure for the others was -> the figures for the others were the significant incline -> a significant increase with holiday purpose -> for holiday purposes the amounts of family trips -> the number of family trips the trip quantity with business and other purposes -> the number of trips for business and other purposes in turn -> respectively number raised to 68 -> number rose to 68.
- I can't give you a score, but I can point out a few things: Trips are quantified by number, not amount.
- Refer to the changes below.
- UK people -> UK citizens or UK residents the figure for the others was -> the figures for the others were the significant incline -> a significant increase with holiday purpose -> for holiday purposes the amounts of family trips -> the number of family trips the trip quantity with business and other purposes -> the number of trips for business and other purposes in turn -> respectively number raised to 68 -> number rose to 68.
- Raise is a transitive verb and rise is an intransitive verb.
- There are other issues in the essay; I addressed only those for which I had time.
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I can't give you a score, but I can point out a few things:
Trips are quantified by number, not amount. Refer to the changes below.
UK people -> UK citizens or UK residents
the figure for the others was -> the figures for the others were
the significant incline -> a significant increase
with holiday purpose -> for holiday purposes
the amoun
0Nguyen Phan Hoang MinhUK people
This is strange. It would be more natural to write British people.
0
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