Please review my essay and give me a IELTS score for this.

Topic: “In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?”

My essay:

In many countries, it is common that the governments address the traffic problems by impose heavy tax on car owner and through this advancing the public transportation. I believe that when we discuss the pros and cons of this solution above, we could have a profound sight about how we should approach this measurement.

On the one hand, it is obvious that the government could strain an enormous amount of money received from car owners to relieve the burden on their shoulder about traffic problems, lead to enable them distribute to other social issues such as education, health or poverty. Furthermore, if the government can advance traffic infrastructure for public transportation, it will be beneficial to environmental protection by reducing air pollution because there will be fewer driver or people will drive less on the road. In this way, we could not only subsidise the government’s budget but fix more problems in society.

By this way, the government would place the more financial burden on those who own private car. This may influence on the car manufacturer survivals that depend upon the number of car sold. Because this policy would deter customers who intentionally make a decision to purchase a private car. Moreover, drivers who are the members of taxi corporation or Grab may have a trouble in raising their family. As various policies, there would be certain subjects that could be negative influence due to enacting new laws

In conclusion, we could consider that the pros far outweigh the cons and have a long term impact on people daily lives especially on the environment.