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Anh 790 Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my essay and give a mark IELTS writing

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction between many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?


In today’s developed world, it is true that internet is one of the key elements directly influencing human’s life. Some people believe that the use of social media is substituted for face-to-face communication. I agree that the benefits of social networking sites has bring human’s life are overshadowed by their drawbacks.

On the one hand, there is no denying that social media can provide some noteworthy benefits. One of the major advantage is helping people to connect with each other all over the world. Social media platform provides convenient and cost-efficiency tools for everyone. If people work or study far from their country, they can keep in touch with their family and friends. Another benefit is that people have a cutting-edge platform to share their ideas or opinions. In fact, the users can receive some comments which are constructive for their posts as well as find friends having same interests.

However, the replacement of vitural world to physical interaction does more harm than good. One of the discernible disadvantages is that social media consists numerous of users data which can put users at increased risk of information theft. In deed, this can lead to fake infomation. Furthermore, the overuse of social networking sites affects to human’s emotion straight away is also main downside. No doubt, people who addicted to vitural commucation usually do not pay attention for their family and relatives as well as surrounding activities. As a consequence, this can ruin reality relationship and even impact on mental health.

In conclusion, because social media leads to insecurity of information and emotional problems, I am of opinion that their disadvantages are much greater than their advantages.

  

Top answer

In today’s developed world, it is true that (These dummy-it clauses are useless. Avoid them. ) the internet is one of the key elements directly influencing our lives.

  • In today’s developed world, it is true that (These dummy-it clauses are useless.
  • Avoid them.
  • ) the internet is one of the key elements directly influencing our lives.
  • human’s life.
  • ) Some people believe that the use of social media is a good substitute substituted for face-to-face communication.
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1 Answers
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In today’s developed world, it is true that (These dummy-it clauses are useless. Avoid them. They add nothing to your sentence other than "filler" words.) the internet is one of the key elements directly influencing our lives. human’s life. (Do not use "human" that

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