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Joseph Star Posted 3 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my essay

Topic:

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essay:

With the rapid modernization of the world, the matter of dependency has become a bone of contention among certain demographics of society. In such a situation, some individuals hold the view that people are becoming more reliant, while others contrast and point out that this has boosted independence. This essay will discuss both views and explain why I believe society is moving towards an independent lifestyle.

On the one hand, people have become more dependent on each other due to the fact that necessity has risen more than ever. Industrialization has forced people to spend immense time on work to earn a living. Therefore, they rely on others to fulfil their needs. Social services, including laundry services, restaurants, house maids, cleaning services and so on appear to help them in their personal lives. If both parents in a family, for example, have to work to pay for their family’s expenditures then they have to rely on a babysitter or their relatives to take care of their children. In other words, such people need to depend on others to sort out issues in their everyday life.

On the other hand, modernization has made us free and less reliant on others. First of all, the average human life expectancy has increased due to the rapid progress of the medical world. As older citizens are healthier these days, they are less reliant on their siblings or children. Second, with the availability of modern home products such as washing machines and microwave ovens, people are less reliant on housekeepers. They could just throw their filthy clothes in the washing machine or pop frozen meals into the oven and it would be ready in an instant. This means that modern people can easily find solutions for their problems without any help.

In conclusion, as society develops, by considering the above points, I believe that the trends are towards a more self-sufficient society than ever before and that our dependence will only grow in the future.

  

Top answer

With the rapid modernization of the world, the matter of dependency has become a bone of contention (That is not true. There is no debate or controversy. Do not write false statements in an academic essay.

  • With the rapid modernization of the world, the matter of dependency has become a bone of contention (That is not true.
  • There is no debate or controversy.
  • Do not write false statements in an academic essay.
  • ) among certain demographics (wrong word - demographics is statistical data concerning a population ) of society.
  • ) disagree and point out that this has made us more independent.
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1 Answers
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With the rapid modernization of the world, the matter of dependency has become a bone of contention (That is not true. There is no debate or controversy. Do not write false statements in an academic essay. You have just memorized this kind of opening.) among certain demographics (wrong word

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