Please review my essay

Topic: In some countries, if people need to find work, they have to move away from their families and their friends. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer:

For some people in many nations, when it is time for employment, they have to live away from their beloved one like families and friends. They may find this have not only goodpoints but also drawbacks. In my opinion, the first one outweigh the other.
It is undeniable that the common disadvantages of staying away from families and friends for work are homesickness and culture shock. Homesickness are something people may expect as they are at first far away from their close one, who they have known for ages, and stay with strangers, who they have just met, know nothing other than names. Moreover, people can get culture shock if they have to move to another country where have differences from your home one in living styles, behaviors and so on.
However, going faraway for work have remarkable advantages. The first one is building people's independence. When people move away from their home, they need to live on their own. This means there will be no one near them to help solving their problems. For instance, instead of hot meal by your mother after a tired working day, you need to learn how to cook for yourself, which is unfamiliar to some people. The second pros to be named is the chance for exploration. When people move to a new place, they will meet new people, new lifestyles, etc. Some may bring unwanted experiences, but some will bring wonderful one. For example, when people move to big cities like New York, they will experience a life full of night activies.
In conclusion, moving away for work may have some drawbacks at first like culture shock and homesickness, but it have numerous goodpoints, which outweigh the afore - mentioned. People should take working away from home into account for their independence's development and the opportunity for exploration.