Please review my essay

Topic:

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

The presence of overweight incidence is increasing substantially over the decade, and this places an overwhelming burden on doctors and hospitals’ resources., Adding more physical education courses to the school curriculum is argued to be the most effective way to fight against this problem. However, I disagree with this idea since physical activities would be unable to tackle the main culprits of being overweight, and there are also several more effective solutions.

The inability of physical education classes in solving the overweight problem can be seen in many ways. First, exercise is not as effective as people think in terms of burning the excess calories from overconsumption of unhealthy food- the biggest cause of overweight. For example, research shows that it requires two hours of working out to remove the calories of one small burger. And since children have already been stressed by long hours of studying, it would be unreasonable to make them go through five- hours of exercising to reduce the effect of their daily meal. Also, the method does little to the other parts of the population, who also suffer from gaining weight.

In addition, there are several more practical and feasible solutions; One would be raising the tax on fast food and sugar-sweetened drinks, along with subsidising healthier alternatives and providing financial incentives to farmers growing them. An example that proves changes in prices highly affects consumers’ choices is the unsuccessful of fast food chains and famous carbohydrate drinks brand in some developing countries, where buying their items costs far more than cooking at home. In developed countries, in which fast food is a multi-billion industry, however, eating at fast food outlets is more affordable. In addition, through advertising and education, governments and schools should raise awareness of unhealthy diets’ detrimental effects, as well as the great benefits of “green” food.

As the above proves, the addition of PE classes to the school curriculum is not considered to be the most effective way in reducing the number of overweight people. Nevertheless, government subsidies and education act more effectively in stemming this trend.

Besides reviewing the essay, since it is way too long, can you show me how to reduce the length?