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Phoebe phoebe Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my essay

My essay:

The first bar chart compares the percentages of people who studied for their career with those for interest. They are divided into five age brackets: the young (under 26), adults (26-29), the thirties (30-39), the forties (40-49) and seniors over 49. The second bar chart plots the proportion of these age groups who gained support (breaks and funds) from their employers.

Overall, most people in all age groups started their studies for these two reasons: jobs and interest. However, they are negatively correlated with each other; the older the age groups, the more they did for the personal reason, and this was the opposite for job opportunities. The age group under 40 received less support when they get older. However, the two oldest groups go counter to this observation.

In detail, the majority of the two youngest groups get support, with about two-thirds of the young under 26 and a bare majority of the adult group (26-29). And in third place, seniors above 49, have 45%. In contrast, only just over one-third of the thirties do, slightly less than their older group, the forties, at 35%. More than eight out of ten students study for either work or interest. The percentage for career is only 10% in the youngest group, but it goes up stepwise with the ages of the groups, equalling that of interest in the forties at 4 in ten and surpassing in the oldest group at 7 in ten. The value for interest has the reverse trend, with a high of 80% in the young under 26 and a gradual reduction to end at only 19% for the oldest.

would you mind posting a sample essay? Thanks a lot!

  

Top answer

can I use the thirties, forties... instead of the groups aged 30-39, 40-49...? or is there another way to describe it?

  • can I use the thirties, forties...
  • instead of the groups aged 30-39, 40-49...?
  • or is there another way to describe it?
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1 Answers
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can I use the thirties, forties... instead of the groups aged 30-39, 40-49...?

or is there another way to describe it?

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