Please review my essay

Task 1: The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My essay:

( The process flowchart illustrates how refined cane sugar is made from sugar cane, a tall plant grown on farms.

Overall, there are two sections to the diagram. First, producing the canes can take a year to 18 months from planting to harvesting. Second, processing the canes takes a relatively short time in a sugar manufacturing facility and is an automated process consisting of five steps. ) ( from Ms. AlpheccaStars’ essay)

In the first stage, sugar cane is grown for about 12-18 months. Its stalks are harvested either by hand or by a harvesting machine and then delivered to a sugar manufacturing plant for the next section. When the stalks are in the factory, they are put in a mill and crushed into sugar juice. The juice is purified by a limestone filler before being boiled in an evaporator to form a syrup. Sugar crystals are then segregated from the syrup in a centrifuge process. Finally, the crystallized sugar needs to be cooled and dried.

( 155 words).

Is it too short? Would you mind posting a sample essay?