Please review my essay

Topic: IN the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or TV or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice (approximately 280 words, rate my essay from 1 to 10)

In today’s world, technology is becoming commonplace because of the excessive usage in computers and televisions among people. In terms of education, there have been controversial about which is the better choice between studying at home by using technology and studying at traditional schools. In my opinion, studying offline is the superior method.

Firstly, traditional schools offer suitable environment for students to do outdoor activities which provides the opportunity for student to be more efficient in examination. After myriad periods of learning, stresses and exhaustion may occur that give rise to poor effectiveness in studying; thus, sports facilities are necessitated and those are mostly available at schools. To be more specific, outdoor activities such as playing sports and meditate help students to reduce stress as well as build up concentration; such benefits can develop students’ capacity in acquiring knowledge and obtain better marks.

Secondly, learning online increases potential risk of eye diseases. Staring at computer’s screen for many hours make eyes on active condition constantly which may lead to eye disorders and diseases. According to experts, spending too much time in front of computers results in eye discomfort, blurred vision, dry eyes, difficulty focusing and headaches; therefore, work performance can be of low efficiency and eye diseases risks will increase.

To summarize, students should join lecture offline because of its effectiveness and other benefits instead of study online as eye diseases risks might appear.