Please review my essay

Topic:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

My essay:

Throughout history, humans’ life has been associated closely with various forms of arts for entertainment and educational purposes, among which, music and art are of most concern, especially in the learning environment. That is, a comprehensive program of education should contain those subjects for the sake of all students, the primary beneficiaries. From my viewpoint, I would advocate the school curriculum developing music and fine arts appreciation, since it enhances children in both mental and social aspects.

The first and foremost reason why these art forms should be taken not only at the level of primary and secondary education but also at upper secondary schools is that music and art benefit young brains sustainably. To be specific, researchers at the University of California have studied that listening to music affects cognitive function in general, also, according to Americans for the Arts, students associated with the arts are likely to perform effectively at school. That is to say, students with arts participation are more brilliant-minded and creative than those who do not. This makes perfect sense for the reason that arts encourage children to express their own perspectives and foster their imagination vividly during the course of creating a work of art. Likewise, enjoying meaningful lyrics and beautiful melodies of a song improves their memory and mindset, thus sharpening their essential skills, such as problem solving, for later life. As a result, students involved in these subjects stand the golden chance of being recognized for academic achievements, for instance, winning at a science fair. Apparently, without artistic and musical expression, a student’s brain can not develop thoroughly in terms of abstract and logical thinking.

Moreover, students given access to music and art at an early age would promote social skills on their own without adults’ instructions. For example, students motivated by their passion for this field, could gather and form music bands or art clubs. Thanks to the intimate relationship strengthened by the members during the course of working together as a group, they will learn important life skills such as teamwork or how to relate to each other so as not to provoke conflicts. By the same token, as discussing and arguing over a problem, each individual of them may discover another dimension of personality, confidence in particular. To prove this point, studies have shown that when teenagers and children engage themselves in art activities with friends and provide constructive criticism as well as praise to one another, the feedback they give to each other builds self-respect. Additionally, enjoying multicultural works of art develops an understanding and an appreciation for different cultures, which increases their sense of tolerance and social acceptance.

In conclusion, to serve the fundamental purpose of a well-rounded education, forms of arts, music, and art to be specific, should be incorporated in the curriculum, owing to the fact that arts experiences can produce positive impacts on the academic and social development of students, that is, they demonstrate growth in their mindset and improve their lifelong skills for societal interaction.