Please review my essay.

Question

University education should be free for all? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education plays an integral role in everyone's life. It is often argued that tertiary education ought to be provided free to all students. As it will become accessible to all classes of society and contribute to prosper country's economy. However, there are some drawbacks of free university education.

There are various advantages of subsided education. First of all, it will be affordable for every class of society and bring an opportunity to study for destitute students. It has been observed that poverty-stricken students leave their studies after schools due to heavy finances required to pay universities fees. Consequently, intelligent students are not able to achieve their goals. Along with this, there are great chances of getting jobs after higher education means decrease in unemployment ratio. As a result, country economy will prosper. For instance, after free education in Kerala ( An Indian state ), literacy rate increased by 30%.

Nevertheless, if universities will not charge any fees from students, that means no funds are allocated. To elucidate, universities invest charged money to operate normal educational activities as well to pay to their staffs. It would have an impact on University.

To conclude succinctly, although charging no fees from students impact university, it will help poor students to enhance their knowledge and most importantly contribute to country's economy.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

pawandeepkaurzUniversity education should be free for all? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The task is not grammatical English. The first sentence is a statement, so the question mark is wrong.

You should answer the essay prompt with an adverb of extent.

It is good to know a good handful of adverbs of extent because this is a very common prompt in IELTS Task 2 essays.

Complete agreement / disagreement:
------------

completely
fully
totally
wholeheartedly
unreservedly
with no reservations
without reservation
unequivocally
unquestionably
with no hesitation
unconditionally

Partial agreement / disagreement:
----------------

somewhat
partially
partly
to some extent / to a limited extent / to a point
with (some / certain / a few) reservations
conditionally

Slight agreement / disagreement:
----------------

a little (bit)
--------------------

Do not confuse the essay types. Be careful of writing an "advantages/disadvantages" essay when the question is "to what extent..."

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Education plays an integral role in everyone's life. (You should open with a sentence that is more focused on the task. Why is university education important?) ~~It is often argued that~~ (Avoid passive-voice dummy-it clauses. They are not very appealing.) tertiary education ought to be provided free to all students. As it will become accessible to all classes of society and contribute to prosper country's economy. (That is a fragment, a dependent clause. It is not a grammatical sentence.) However, there are some drawbacks of free university education.

You did not answer the actual prompt. You answered a different prompt. Here is a good introduction. It focuses directly on the task, and provides a thesis statement which answers the prompt. The adverb "somewhat" answers "to what extent...?"

Young people need a university degree in order to compete for the best jobs in the job market, so many advocate that the government should extend free secondary school education to higher-level education. I somewhat agree with them since it will be favorable to the nation's economy, but it may cause financial problems in the university system.

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