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Papaya teal 753 Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my essay

The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems connected with using the web? What solutions can you suggest?


Currently in a rampant technology period, advent of internet has indeed revolutionized the lifestyles of people. Inordinate usage of Internet carries a high level of inappropriate content with different age groups and the risk of fraud, especially among young generation. Parental or school education and the commitment of individuals when it comes to protecting personal information are ideal solutions for challenges related Internet.

There are some reservations in terms of the rising popularity of Wi-Fi. First, not all the websites are useful. Some Internet websites such as video games sites, forums and chat rooms can even be severely affected to the psychological well-being and academic performance. For example, violent computer games have an abnormal level of rage and aggression towards their consumers, encouraging killing images because players who are subjected to this material continuously will have violent and troubling ideas. It is true that consumers of violent games are often desensitized because of their frequent visual and audio exposure to their games. Another drawback is the risk of fraud. For instance, the prevalence of Internet has enabled e-commerce, but technology does not always facilitate shopping. Many people are attracted by great discounts or intriguing advertisement online and might end up getting counterfeit products or not receive anything at all. In some cases, their credit card details are stolen and misused in fraudulent transactions.

It is argued that problems on Internet can be solved in a number of ways. In the first place, a solution is for parents to control the excess usage of Internet by children. They should examine the gadgets of their children and inform them of the negative repercussions of accessing inappropriate material. Parents may also establish a secure environment for their home website, while inadequate websites are prohibited. In addition, teachers should encourage their students to take part in a wide range outdoor activities instead of scrolling the web after hectic studying hours. Moreover, each person should take it into careful consideration before entering personal information and should not believe too much in tricks to buy bargains.

In conclusion, Internet will be a perfect invention in the history of civilization if the control of posted contents on social websites can be addressed in a more efficient way and people use it more wisely and sensibly.

  

Top answer

You wrote 380 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores.

  • You wrote 380 words.
  • The minimum is 250.
  • You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores.
  • And there are many reasons for this.
  • First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.
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2 Answers
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You wrote 380 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in

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Currently in a rampant technology period, (That makes no sense at all. Humans have been developing technology for a million years.) advent of The internet has indeed revolutionized the lifestyles of people who have access to it. (3

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