Please review my essay.

(Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible, others prefer to live with their families for along time, which of these situations do you think is better, use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.)

No one can deny that there are a postive aspects of living with parents and it is better than living in a department. If I were forced to choose I would definitely select living with parents. It is my firm belief that living parents encourages you to do well in your life and helps you to reach your targets easily. I feel this way due to two reasons, and I will develop the ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.

To begin with, when you live with parents your not forced to pay money for the department. For instance, you can invest your money for what is beneficial for you instead of giving the payment to the department's owners. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience, like when I studied English in Sanaa I rented a department and it costs me sixty thousand per a month. For this reason I thoroughly believe that living with parents is better than living alone and having a privacy life.
Secondly, living with parents makes you aware enough to do your job perfectly with out misses. For example, they can give you a clear vision for your tendency according to their tremendous experience in life . Drawing from my own experience, when I was at high school I was baffled how I can manage my time very well to finish my studying and prepare the new lessons. Moreover, they also help me to do my assignments at school.
In light of above mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that dwelling with parents let you smoothly reach your goals with able guidance in every cases and have a good life conditions.