Please review my essay..

Writing Task 2: Some people think the main purpose of education is to make

individuals useful to society; others say education helps them to achieve personal

ambitions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

My essay:

In modern days, we are living in a world that education is the indispensable part of the society. A lot of individuals show their perspectives that the goal of education is to empower human beings to attribute to society. I argue that the educational intention is to bring advantage for people to achieve their own personal attainments.

On the one hand, it’s clear that the inner intention of education is to raise people’s awareness as well as their cognitive ability so that they would attribute to the society. Firstly, if they are well-educated, it will be easier for the government to implement campaigns, propaganda to make them contribute to the public. Because they have exposed to the education of the government since they were a child, they would understand the inner messages of being a good person, therefore, the level of conformity would be higher than those who doesn’t attend to classes. Secondly, education is the most effective way to shape individuals’ behaviour to make attribution to the public. The government can send supportive messages through lessons and enhance the individual’s knowledge to be an useful person.

On the other hand, achieving personal goals requires a lot of skills that could be provided and improved through educating sufficiently. Because every citizen is a part of a society so that their pursuit to gain achievements does contribute to the society that they are in. For example, in national competition, national athletes are trained to get the medals but the medals are not only for the athletes but also for the nation, for the society they are in.

In conclusion, I concur with the perspective that education bring advantage for individuals to achieve their own goals.