Please review my essay

Hello there, I'm quite bad at writing essays so hope someone here would prove me with feedback. I used to double check my essays with https://www.grammarly.com/ or essaytyper.pro but I am not getting better at writing them. So I guess I'd also like some advice on how to improve. Thanks

If high school sports are beneficial, and I believe they are, then, logically, the benefits should be extended to as many students as possible. Instead of one team for each sport, there should enough teams so that everyone who wants to play has the chance.

Supervision and teaching should be provided on the same level as, say the debate team, the French Honor Society or the chess team. That might mean that students would coach some teams. Whether students or teachers, coaches should be honored for conveying the life-long benefits of sports for health, sportsmanship, teamwork and enjoyment rather than simply for beating other teams.

While I realize most schools would be reluctant to move away from the current model of elite sports for elite athletes, parents should have an interest in a system based on intramural sports that would spread the benefits of sports to more students without the costs of travel, high-priced coaches and expensive facilities. Existing facilities would be more widely used. An intramural sports system would reduce the often near hysterical levels of emphasis on winning at all costs. This would help eliminate some of the ethical and behavioral problems we see at some schools and would allow academics and other life skills taught in clubs to reclaim more student attention.

I lettered in two sports in high school, but I would have enjoyed them more if we could have played with more emphasis on fun and fitness than on winning.