Please review my essay

In this essay I am showing a fail in my professional life and learnings I took from it.

Several years ago my manager and I were working on a new marketing information system. We had to replace the existing marketing information system with a new one, more powerful and user friendly. The project had to be finished until the year end, but we were never able meet the deadline.
This delay caused several negative consequences. Our internal clients from Strategic Marketing Department were missing up-to-date information which the new system was supposed to provide. Abscense of this data impacted speed and quality of business decisions. Our group assumed responsibility and our credibility and reputation were damaged.
I was responsible for the technical side of the project, user interface and format of the data. Key delays in that project were coming from the technical part and there were good reasons for that. The amount of information we wanted to use was exceeding capacities of the infrastructure used by the agency. Lead time for many processes turned out to be longer than we expected. We lost a lot of time on the user interface which had to be reworked a couple of time to meet expectations of various stakeholders.
Reflecting about my setbacks I identified several key flaws in managing the project. Firstly I devoted too much time to minor details and was completely overwhelmed. Therefore I lost track of strategic points like managing processes and capabilities. Secondly, time management was not perfect. My focus was biased towards secondary issues while critical points lacked attention. During the interface design phase I had several sessions with some of the stakeholders. As it turned out, colleagues who were not involved in the process had different views on functionality of the interface and we had to spend time to rework it.
This project was the first big project in my professional career and the first big fail. From this setback I learned that it is important to focus and prioritize, challenge and align. I realized that a complicated problem can be solved easier if divided into smaller simple tasks. These strategies helped me a lot in next years of my professional life.