Please review my English essay

Topic: The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

My essay:

It is argued that the increase of amusing activities such as video games on portable devices brings repercussions on individuals and communities. I totally agree with this viewpoint owing to its health consequences and society disconnection.

The fact that there are more people playing games on electronic gadgets results in health problems they could be prone to. To be more precise, games contain a number of levels and obstacles to overcome so that players can reach new areas. Thus, they have to spend a large amount of time immersing themselves in those virtual activities in order to finish the game, which leads to the ignorance of maintaining fitness. As a result, those people easily suffer from not only physical diseases but also mental problems. For instance, during a speech to the American Medical Association, US President Barack Obama identified video games as a health concern, stating that they are a key factor in unhealthy sedentary lifestyles.

The other consequence of games addiction to the public is social isolation. With the sense of relaxation and achievement this fantasy world brings to players, they are manipulated and lack interaction with the community as life is much tougher with a myriad of challenges people have to tackle. In other words, these recreational facilities, as a way to escape from reality, make people alienated and isolated, which leads to the fact that individuals avoid communicating and lack social skills . According to a study, too much video game playing makes children socially isolated.

The popularity of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices has detrimental effects to individuals and the general public, which are health issues and social alienation.