Please review my Athlete sponsorship letter

Hello, I was inspired to follow in the footsteps of a fellow athlete who has been fortunate enough to receive sponsorship from a local company. Therefore, could someone please take a look at my letter and correct any grammar mistakes and give their opinions.

Thanks

Todd

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Todd Marshall. The intent of this letter is to explore the possible sponsorship opportunities within your company in order to realise my goal of competing in the 2014 Commonwealth Games and 2016 Olympic Games.

I am a track and field sprinter who competes for City of Sheffield Athletics Club. My success started in 2008 when I achieved a UK top 20 ranking in the 200m as a junior. At 18 years of age I was selected to compete for Sheffield in the premiership of the British Athletics League which has allowed me to compete with the best in the field such as Mark Lewis Francis, Marlon Devonish and Christian Malcolm. In 2009 I made a major breakthrough by reaching the semi finals of the 200m in the televised Aviva World Trials and National Championships held in Birmingham. In the same year I also beat GB 400m specialist, Richard Buck, over 200m at the Yorkshire Championships while ranking in the UK top 20 over 200m.

In addition to my main achievements, I am three time Yorkshire Champion over 100m and 200m, four time North of England 200m silver medallist, and I have also had the honour of representing Yorkshire and the North of England on numerous occasions. This year I am continuing to sustain high level competition having ranked 8th and 15th in the 150m and 300m respectively. Alongside my athletics career, I volunteer in my local community by helping out at my secondary school as well as coaching at an all-inclusive trampolining club.

I want to dedicate more time to athletics; therefore, at the age of 22, I ask for your company to please sponsor me, by providing financial assistance of some kind within the future in order for me to reach my full potential. I am sure as a business you will know too well the dedication and effort it takes to be successful in whatever aspirations you may have. Taking one’s athletics endeavours to the desired level sometimes requires external support, so being able to gain a sponsorship deal with you will enable me to take my career to new heights. I would be able to train harder and for longer, take my competition abroad in the warmer climates and purchase the equipment necessary. As a senior athlete, I am one of only a few hopefuls from Sheffield who have an opportunity to compete at the next major competitions, so sponsoring me will open up new opportunities to be capitalised on and make my athletics dream become a reality.

What can I offer your company?
• Opportunity to be mentioned in local newspapers
• Advertisement on a motor vehicle
• Opportunities to have your company/ brand mentioned on television/ radio
• Your company could be linked to the Legacy of the 2012 Olympic Games
• 40% of Forgoodness shakes (Sports milkshake)
• 30% of Maximuscle products
• Discount on Laser teeth whitening (in surgery and home kit) and Invisalign (invisible) dental braces with free laser whitening

I look forward to hearing from you and discussing this opportunity further.

Kind regards

Todd Marshall